Bliss and Other Stories
by the.goal.is.greatness
Summary: "I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again..." [Magnus x Alec]


**Title:** Bliss and Other Stories  
**Genre:** Romance / Spiritual  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing:** Magnus x Alec  
**Spoilers:** The Dark Artifices  
**Summary:** I will love you forever; whatever happens. Till I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, till I find you again…  
**Word Count:** 1,452  
**Warnings:** Reincarnation

**Disclaimer:** Magnus and Alec belong to Cassandra Clare. Summary is from _His Dark Materials_ by Philip Pullman.

**A/N:** I love Magnus. I love Alec. I love them.

* * *

One would think that, with a greater age, the greater the notice of the passage of time would be. With how many people Magnus has left behind, how many ancestors he can see in his friends (in their eyes, their noses, the tilt of the heads, they don't even know where they come from, but Magnus does), that time would pass like a snap, like a blink, like a glance.

But it doesn't.

When he is happy and joyous and incandescent with his emotions, the way Alec makes him, time slips by as peaceful as a river. Moments leading into moments, as continuous as the tide, as tectonic plates shifting, as evolution. Slow and steady and eternal and then…

… then different.

Then there are crow's feet at the corners of Alec's eyes and when did they get there? And then flecks of grey in his ebony hair, enough that Magnus should have noticed sooner. There are creaking joints and slower reflexes and more sleep. It is enough to make Magnus' mind flash back over their time together, so short, and then suddenly realize that it had been years, _decades_, and no, no, no, he's not ready, not for this, not with Alec, with anyone but him.

Alec can sense the change in his husband, can see that he is being looked at differently, can see the sadness and terror in his cat eyes. But he merely smiles at him and pats his hand, reassuring and calm in a way that Magnus can no longer be because Alec is… he's…

"It's alright, you know." Magnus snaps his gaze over, eyes roving that face that he has loved almost from the first moment that he saw it. The mouth is tilted up at him in a smile as familiar to him as the sun, the eyes crinkling at him, soft, and glazed with cataracts. "It's alright," he repeats.

Magnus feels his heart break. "No it's not." His hand, when he reaches out to grasp his husband's is shaking.

"Magnus." The voice is still the stern, commanding, Shadowhunter voice, still makes Magnus tingle to hear it. "This is not a surprise. This is what happens to humans, to Shadowhunters."

"But – "

"It seemed to last forever when it was happening, didn't it?" He sighs softly and the sound brings the sting of tears to Magnus' eyes. "But this is where this story ends."

"No!" It's a fierce denial, immediate and harsh.

Alec smiles at him again. "This story, Magnus." He cups the warlock's face. "But there will be more, I promise you. I'll find you again, if you wait for me."

"I'll always wait for you, Alexander, but what are you – "

"Magnus, I will love you forever, no matter what happens." He's earnest and real and so, so perfect. "Till and die and after I die, I will love you." He grips Magnus' hard as hard as he can, not as strong as it once way, but insistent, demanding all of Magnus' attention. "And when I die, I will find my way out of the land of the dead, wherever that is. I'll drift around forever, if I have to, all of my atoms, until I find you again…"

* * *

It is literal _years_ before Magnus can bare to face anyone again. It is worse that losing Will, then losing Jace and Clary, then losing anyone else. It's _Alec_. Without him he feels bereft, a leaf loose in a hurricane, with no way to plan his next move, no guiding light, just lost in a storm. But there are children and grandchildren of the people he has grown to hold dear who know him and miss him the tenuous link between he and them keeps him tethered, however delicately, to their world.

He is a recluse, living in his flat (not bachelor pad, no, not that, not ever again, just alone, just widowed for all the rest of eternity) without the want or care or need to venture out. When others come to him for help, he humors them, grants it, it polite and cordial. But he does not ask them to linger, does no seek out their company.

In this vein, years, decades and decades pass. His life is monotonous, sad. Some days he can barely force his eyes to open because there will be pictures of Alec on the walls. He will open a drawer that is full of supplies for spells, but mixed in will be a stele. But the scent has been faded from the clothing and the bedding and the room for so long that Magnus only dreams of it, and wakes with the smell of light and peppermint and tea in his nose, only to realize it is a lie. He barely notices how the passage of times changes the world around it. New York is New York. It is loud and full and crowded. So what if the mundanes have cars that no longer touch the ground. So what if they have glasses that are also cameras. So what.

It has been so long that then he opens the door, he expects nothing but the usual, but he is floored when the two on his porch look up at his arrival.

One is familiar: a relative so many generations removed from Jace and Clary that it is startling how many features he can recognize. Clary's hair, Jace's eyes mixed in with the new blood of the past generations. The other…

"Hey Magnus! Aunt Tessa said you might be able to help. This is Lex, he's got a little bit of a fae problem." Sarah grins at him and it is all Jace.

"Lex?"

"Like Luthor? From that ancient mundane comic book?"

"Indeed." He cannot stop looking. "Lex...?" Magnus trails off, this time makes the name into a question, because he knows he is staring and he cannot stop. The boy, he does not looks like Alec beyond the same Shadowhunter built, lean and lithe and powerful. This boy is blonde-haired and blue-eyed, there's a glint of an earring in one of his ears, and he's wearing a petulant expression. But there's such a feeling of _Alexander_ about him that it makes Magnus shake.

"Grey," he says.

Magnus blinks. _Of course he is_. "Lex," Magnus says again, as he leads them inside. "That's an interesting name."

The boy shrugs, looking around the apartment with interest in those eyes that is as familiar to Magnus as his own face. "My name is boring, I wanted something cooler."

"Ah, so it is a nomme de plume."

An elegant shrug and Magnus feels his heart _ache_ at the motion. "I guess. It's short for Alexander."

For a moment it is as if the world has stopped spinning in one sudden moment and send Magnus careening off the edge of the planet. He feels like he is pin-wheeling, like there is nothing under his feet but air, like his lungs are empty. "_Alexander_…"

The name is a purr, a plea, a prayer, all at once. It makes the boy (_Alexander!)_ turn and look at him. He shouldn't be so at ease here, in this apartment. The girl, she has been here many times, and she is still unsure of herself amidst the clutter and sprawl of the place. But this boy, he stands as if he is sure of his place here, as if this is a room he has been in so many times it is nothing to him to be there. He fits. There is an appraising look in those blue eyes, a mix of wary and intrigued and curious. They are looking at Magnus the way you look at something when you are trying to imagine where you have seen them before, but cannot recall that moment. His brows furrow. "I feel like…" He stares hard at Magnus, and the warlock forces the past into his eyes, lets every shred of memory show in his eyes, relishes the gasp that it rips out of the Shadowhunter. "Have we met before?"

Magnus lets a slow cat-like grin slide across his face. "Maybe in a past life, my dear."


End file.
